I Didn’t Know I Was in Perimenopause — Here’s What I Wish I’d Known

For a long time, I thought something was wrong with me.

-I was exhausted in a way sleep didn’t fix.

-My emotions felt closer to the surface.

-My body stopped responding to things that had once worked.

-And there were moments where I genuinely wondered if I was losing my mind.

What I didn’t know at the time was that I was in perimenopause.

Like many women, I assumed menopause was something that happened much later — and that when it arrived, it would be obvious.

No one told me it could creep in quietly, overlap with stress, or feel like a full-body identity shift.

I didn’t recognize it because no one had ever really explained it.

Perimenopause Doesn’t Always Announce Itself

Perimenopause isn’t one clear moment or a single symptom. It’s a transition and it can show up slowly, suddenly, or all at once.

For many women, it looks like:

• Increased anxiety or emotional sensitivity

• Brain fog or difficulty concentrating

• Weight gain that doesn’t respond the way it used to

• Sleep disruption

• Fatigue that feels deeper than “just being tired”

• A much lower tolerance for stress

  
  

And here’s the part that matters: These symptoms often appear during the busiest, most demanding years of our lives.

Careers. Parenting. Relationships. Aging parents. Big life changes.

So instead of recognizing hormonal shifts, many of us turn inward and ask, “What’s wrong with me?”

Stress Changes the Conversation Entirely

One thing I wish I’d understood sooner is how much stress amplifies menopause symptoms.

When your nervous system has been running on high alert for a long time, hormonal changes feel louder. Cortisol stays elevated. Recovery takes longer. Emotions sit closer to the surface. Things that once felt manageable suddenly don’t.

This doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means your body is doing its best under pressure.

And at this stage of life, pushing harder is often the thing that backfires.

Why “Pushing Through” Stops Working

Many capable, high-functioning women respond by trying to regain control:

• More discipline

• More restriction

• More intense workouts

• Less rest

  
  

But perimenopause isn’t a season that responds well to force.

What it responds to is:

• Nourishment that supports hormones

• Strength-based movement instead of punishment

• Better recovery and sleep

• Learning when to listen instead of override

  
  

For me this shift can felt uncomfortable, especially if you’ve spent years powering through life like me, but it’s also where real, sustainable change begins.

Why Information Feels So Hard to Find

One of the most frustrating parts of this season is how hard clear, trustworthy information is to find.

Menopause is often rushed through in appointments, minimized, or treated as something women are just supposed to tolerate quietly.

So many of us are left googling symptoms late at night, piecing together conflicting advice, and wondering what actually applies to our bodies and our lives.

That’s why I decided to dig in.

I’m currently taking formal training in menopause coaching so I can better understand what’s happening in this season, and share what I’m learning in a way that’s practical, realistic, and human.

Not overwhelming. Not extreme. Just honest education that helps us make informed choices.

Because we need to take back the narrative around menopause — with knowledge, support, and empowerment.

And no, I don’t have all the answers. But I do believe we’re stronger when we learn and walk through this together.

About Those “Best Years” Everyone Talks About…

You’ll often hear people say, “Post-menopause are the best years of your life.” And honestly? I believe that can be true.

But I also believe we don’t have to white-knuckle our way through menopause just to get there.

We can move through this season with strength.

-With support.

-With education.

-And Yes, with a little cheekiness and humor along the way.

This isn’t about surviving until the “good years” arrive. It’s about learning how to feel good now, while we’re getting there.

A Gentle Next Step

You don’t need to do everything at once.

Start by paying attention. Start by being curious instead of critical. Start by learning what your body needs now — not what it needed ten years ago.

YOU ARE NOT BROKEN. You are adapting. And you are allowed to feel strong again — differently.

If this resonated with you, explore more inside the Strong Through the Shift section, where we talk openly about hormones, stress, nutrition, movement, and strength in midlife.

We’re in this together 🤍